


Love Give Me Strength

by star_named_andy



Series: Shakespeare Does a Funny Thing [13]
Category: The Hobbit (1977), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Explicit Language, F/M, M/M, Minor Violence, References to Shakespeare, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:37:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3997480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_named_andy/pseuds/star_named_andy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life was getting very complicated very fast. It was as if he’d been blindfolded with a partially transparent cloth this whole time and that mask had finally been taken away, allowing him to see things clearly all at once. What a scary world it was that he was seeing now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Give Me Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Brace yourselves. I did put new warnings in the tags, but just in case anyone missed: TRIGGER WARNINGS for minor violence, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, implied/referenced suicide, and depression. This is quite heavy, but just like normal people, characters experience hardship. Even so, I hope you readers enjoy and stay tuned for the next part where much happier things are bound to happen!
> 
> (Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, or any of its characters or content. I also make no claims to owning any of William Shakespeare's work.)

The California sky, instead of being clear as the weather forecast had predicted when Bard had researched it, was murky with grey clouds that looked like they’d burst at any moment. It was almost funny that the infamous Golden State, the land of the sun and infinite dreams, was going to be the opposite of what he expected upon his first visit. Nothing looked as vibrant as he imagined, not even the palm trees or the fancy cars and their celebrity like owners. However, like any other place in the world, California was not all glamor and fake beauty. As he drove along, he saw more homeless people than he ever had in his whole life and it was quite the upsetting sight. His heart ached for every person he saw lounging on bus benches and begging on the side of the streets. He wanted to stop for every single one and pile them into his truck until there was no more room and search for a shelter; there had to be homeless shelter in California, the state was huge!  But, he could not stray from the path his GPS had been leading him on, for he had a very important schedule to keep today.

He figured his first time traveling to California would be to see the blonde young man who had full ownership of his affections, but no. Rather than visiting Thranduil, he would be meeting the woman who had bore him, the mysterious Mrs. Miluiel Oropherion. It would only be the two of them, since she had insisted upon those conditions, and her son would not be present for their meeting. Bard felt a bit odd about keeping such a thing from his boyfriend, since he felt he should be there when Bard met his mother for the very first time, but Mrs. Oropherion had her reasons, he was sure.

He had the smallest fear that perhaps Mrs. Oropherion had changed her mind about accepting her son’s sexuality and had turned to her husband’s point of view and that her plan was to snuff Bard out; they were rich and powerful, so who would ever know? But that was an awfully absurd thought…right? He laughed it off and sang to himself until he found himself at the desired address.

He was instantly hit with a wave of nervousness and pressed his palm against his chest, hoping that it would somehow stop it from its sudden, insane beating. He sighed and mustered a smile. He should feel more honored than anything to finally be meeting the woman who helped bring Thranduil into the world, he thought. He would just be himself; his personality usually appealed to people for some reason. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror to make sure his hair was still nicely brushed back and tucked behind his ears: check. Clean teeth free of gunk?: check. Zipper up?: check. Laces tied?: check. Buttons done up right?: check. Fuzzy free beard?: check. Everything looked right, so with a nod of confidence, he pulled out his key and left his truck, locking if before straightening his shirt and striding up to the café where Miluiel Oropherion was probably already waiting for him.

As he opened the door, a bell rang above his head. The interior of the café looked just as classy as the exterior and he was very glad he’d dressed up a bit for the occasion, since every other patron inside donned stylish and refined attire. He approached the hostess stand where a woman with a pleasant expression stood.

“Good afternoon, sir. Would you like a table inside or outside today?” she spoke.

“Actually, I’m here to meet someone – a Mrs. Oropherion. Do you know if she’s arrived already?”

“Oh, yes, she is. I’ll show you to where she’s seated if you’ll just follow me.”

The hostess guided Bard through the rows of white clothed tables and before they even reached where Thranduil’s mother was seated, he spotted her. It was unmistakable: she was a fair looking woman with blonde hair fashioned into an elegant updo; it was not the same shade as Thranduil's blonde, no. It was far more natural looking - honey with darker, sandy streaks spread throughout. Her seafoam green summer dress matched her eyes, which were pinned to the book she held open on the table. Goodness, was she beautiful, and it was no surprise Thranduil had spawned from such an attractive creature, and he clearly inherited her exquisiteness. He wondered what Mr. Oropherion must have looked like.

It was when Bard and the hostess came to stand right at the table that Miluiel looked up from her book and noticed them. Her eyes looked straight into Bard’s and he froze for a brief moment before remembering to sit down. Her gaze followed him and now she was smiling, making him feel a bit more at ease. He gave a relaxed smile back before the hostess said she would send the waitress to take their orders.

“Mrs. Oropherion, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.” He said reached across the table to take her hand. She gave a nice, firm handshake and bowed her head.

“Yes, and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Bard.” She said and then closed her book, sliding it over to the far side of the table. “I’ll be honest, I expected anyone chosen by Thranduil to be handsome, but I was not expecting you to be quite so attractive. He’s chosen well and I’m impressed, as far as looks are concerned, though I didn’t imagine he would be one to like facial hair. In any case, as for the rest of you, I will have to wait and see if I am still impressed.”

“Thank you for the compliment, and I assure you I won’t be trying to impress you. I hope that that part will come naturally.” Bard said with a shy smile and Miluiel gave him a peculiar look with a soft grin following.

“Yes, I would hope for that also. Thranduil has told me a bit about you, but I would like to hear more from you.”

“Has he?” Bard questioned, but then shook his head with a light laugh. “I’m sorry, that’s just nice to hear. His whole family world has been such a mystery to me all along, so knowing that he’s talked to you about me makes me very happy. But, anyway, yes, you asked about me…well, my name is Bard Bowman, as you know, and I come from a long line of hard workers. Luckily, the family work ethic was passed to me also. I attend the same college as Thranduil studying humanities and I work as a maintenance repair man there, fixing lights and things. That’s how we finally met, actually – Thranduil and I. There was a light broken in the house he stays in and we started talking.”

Bard’s smile spread a bit more as he remembered the details of the story, but of course he wasn’t going to reveal all of that to his mother of all people. Thranduil was of age, but she may not appreciate that they met while Thranduil was horridly drunk. The subject of alcohol made him frown slightly, thinking of all Bilbo had said to him, but he maintained an amiable expression for Miluiel.

“Finally met?” she asked and Bard raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah.” He chuckled. “I mean, I knew who Thranduil was before I met him face to face since I always went to the performances at the school; I’m a big Shakespeare fan and Thranduil always did his roles so well that I just had to see every show! I always sort of wanted to talk to him, but he seemed very out of my league, to be honest…but wow, is he great, he really is, and I’m so lucky to know him personally at all. Just watching him immerse into a role is astounding and his talent is otherworldly, but knowing who he is is even more amazing than seeing him in character. He’s far more interesting and lovely than any character in any play ever created. You know, if someone made him a character in a play, no one could ever take on such a role. It would be impossible to come close to replicating such…I don’t want to say perfection, but that is all I can think of to describe him.”

“Hello there.” The waitress’ voice cut in and both Bard and Miluiel looked to her. “Do you two know what you would like to order?”

“Oh, no. I didn’t even look at the menu, I’m sorry.” Bard said quickly and picked up one of the gold embroidered menus.

“Don’t worry about it, Bard. Can we have just a bit longer to decide, please?” Miluiel spoke up.

“Sure.” The waitress said with a nod and vanished to another table. Bard and Miluiel quietly flipped through the menus for a few short minutes and once they both put the menus down, the waitress took notice and returned, taking their beverage and pastry orders. As she fluttered off, Miluiel’s attention fell back on Bard.

“Anyway, you were speaking of your life at college. What are your grades like?” she inquired.

“Excellent. I do strive for all A’s and I’ve had nothing less than a 3.8 GPA since my first semester two years ago; I’ll be starting my junior year in this fall. My tuition is mostly covered by awards and scholarships I earn by keeping my grades up, but also from working and my sports position at the school. My parents help out as much as they can, but it’s my responsibility and I try my hardest to take care of it myself.”

“That’s good to hear…you must be quite busy.”

“Yes, but if it’s time for Thranduil you’re worried about, I will always have time for him no matter what.”

“And what is your sports position?”

“I’m an archer. I’ve competed at the collegiate and professional level and I’ve won several honors and awards. It’s a big hobby of mine, but it really helps in the long run, since many tournaments reward victors with money prizes.”

“You must be very good then.”

“I’d like to think so.”

Just then, a tea, coffee, a large blueberry muffin and a slice of raspberry pie were placed in front of them. With a thank you from both Bard and Miluiel, the waitress was away again. Bard scooped two sugar cubes into his tea and mixed them as Miluiel looked upon her piece of pie, pleased with its appearance, and picked up her utensils to cut into it.

“Mmhm. And how many partners have you had, Bard?”

The poor brunette nearly choked on his tea, but it was better he choked than spit it out, he figured. He swallowed it down after his initial shock and wiped his mouth in case there was any excess liquid dribbling there.

“I’m sorry?” he spoke, unsure of how the conversation had taken such an…unexpected turn. She looked up at him with a serious, unforgiving gaze. This woman meant business. “Well, I…I’ve had three boyfriends, including Thranduil. The other two were around high school time.”

“I’m assuming you saw others between that time.” She said plainly and took the first taste of her pie. She smiled. “Oh, that’s lovely.” She commented. Bard was officially afraid.

“Uh…yes, yes I did. I went on dates and things and did have some…physical encounters, but not many.” He confessed. Everything he said was true, but goodness, was this woman blunt. And god knew Bard couldn’t lie or avoid answering her even if he wanted to attempt to.

“Physical encounters? What does that include?” she asked, her eyes skimming over Bard as she raised her cup of coffee and slowly poured cream into it. She began stirring it with her spoon, dagger like eyes shooting up at him.

“For the sake of decency, I won’t go into exact details, but I will tell you I did not have sex with any of those people who came before Thranduil, not one. I’ve been tested for disease just as precaution and I’m entirely clean.”

“And what of my son?”

“We have had sex, yes. He was my first…it may sound foolish, but I hope he will be my last, Mrs. Oropherion.”

“Hm, alright.” She said with a nod and sipped. Bard held his breath, wondering what she would ask him next. She merely looked at him expectantly and gestured to his muffin. “Won’t you eat?”

“Yes, of course.” He said quietly and picked at it a little before clearing his throat and speaking again. “I don’t mean to seem cowardly-”

“No, I understand. I caught you off guard, but it’s to get the truth out of you. You do not seem like the type who can lie easily on the spot, or at all, if I’m reading you correctly.”

“That’s very correct, actually.” Bard admitted coyly.

“I admire your demeanor on the subject and your answers, if honest, are good ones. I would not have favored hearing you’d had many lovers and partners previous to my son, though I wouldn’t have judged you too harshly, and I certainly wouldn’t have appreciated a boastful attitude. You seem sweet, Bard, and genuine. I can see now how you hooked Thranduil. When he told me he had a _boyfriend_ …well, it was odd. I knew he had interest in men, but he’s always been…”

“I know what you mean.” Bard interjected and she watched him curiously. “He’s not the most open or emotional person I’ve ever met, but that’s alright. Not that he needs to change, but he’s made progress, I think. Things flow easier between us now that he’s told me a bit about his burdens he carries and that will be good for our relationship in the long run; with communication, we can help each other.”

“…Yes.” She spoke, nodding her head and her once threatening behavior softening into one that was more welcome as she had been at first. “You really do know him well, I see. You love him?”

“Yes!” Bard said with a beam and she laughed finely.

“I can tell, but I just wanted to ask. Goodness, I am impressed. This is good, because it makes what I really want to speak with you about easier.”

Bard had to pause as he chewed the muffin bits crumbling in his mouth – what did she _really_ want to speak with him about?

“And what would that be?” he asked cautiously and a more serious attitude suited her again, but this time she was not so intimidating.

“My son is not a stable person, Bard.” She started and Bard could already feel a sickness churning inside of him. “He has been fighting a battle for a very long time; since thirteen at least, I’d say. It started even before he’d expressed his attraction to men and his father made a point of showing his…disagreement.”

“What do you mean?” Bard questioned hushedly, tension rising in his chest and she tapped her fingers on her cup until she heaved a sigh and decided she was ready to speak again.

“Thranduil was diagnosed with clinical depression at a very young age, and it was easy to see why. It was nothing that had happened to him, he was simply one of those few who were born with a blanket of darkness flapping over their brains whenever it pleased. We sent him to counseling and he was put on medications to regulate his mood, but that does not mean his depression has ceased to exist. It still flares up. Many people do not take these kinds of ailments seriously, but Thranduil, he…I can tell by your expression he hasn’t shared any of this with you.”

Bard shook his head mutely.

“Perhaps I should not be the one to tell you this, but I feel the need to. He is my son and if I can steer pain away from him, I will. I believe you can help him - you already have helped him; I can see it in his eyes, even if only a little. I’m not saying you need to be his doctor, but you have clearly had a good impact on him and I…I’m sorry.” Her voice began to break toward the end of her speaking and she dabbed a falling tear with the cloth napkin on the table. Bard’s heart was pounding and he immediately reached over and clasped his hand over hers, receiving a light squeeze in return. She took in a deep breath. “I can see that you will not be hurtful, but healing. I would not trust my son and this information with anyone I felt would leave him because of it…Thranduil has had times in the past where he is lost the desire to live. There has been a few incidences where he has…he’s tried committing suicide.”

Bard’s heart screamed.

“How many times?” he asked.

“Three.” She answered.

Three too many.

“The last one was during his freshman year of college. Even with the medication and the counseling, he still gets to that dark place sometimes and his life at home doesn’t make staying away from that place easier. My husband loves Thranduil with all his heart, but ever since he found about his fondness for men, things haven’t been the same between them. There is this…tenseness that is always present and they lash out on each other. Part of that comes from Oropher’s constant watchfulness; he really is overprotective and fears if Thranduil is out of his sight, something _bad_ will happen. Thranduil hates it, of course, and that’s what causes most of their problems...the bottom line is, I think if you two wish to continue with your relationship…we should do something to fix this, or try to. I hate to lay this responsibility on you.”

“No, it _is_ my responsibility. He would do the same for me.” Bard said confidently with a smile, recalling the blonde’s stubbornness.

“I feel if the door is opened about his relationship with you, things may change and they can finally live on more easily with each other.”

“Yes, yes.” Bard agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “I’ve been trying to think of some way to help him because what he’s told me about having to lie to your husband…it’s awful, and I can’t bear the thought of him suffering because he has to hide me and his whole life. I know your husband must love Thranduil dearly, and so the truth shouldn’t sway him. If we go about this the right way, we may just be able to brighten things up for everyone! We’ll do it, all of us, together. As long as there is breath in me, I promise will not stop to make Thranduil the happiest man to walk this earth. But to do this, I think I must share something with you…”

Bard paused, suddenly anxious and unsure of what he was about to say. Did she already know?

“Yes?” Miluiel encouraged and Bard swallowed a lump in his throat.

“I have my suspicions that Thranduil, he…I think he may have another problem.”

“What is it?” she asked urgently.

“He drinks.” He whispered, and that was all he needed to say for her to understand. Yes, she must have known.

He knew what he had made was a colossal promise, but he would not have made it unless he was certain he could play a beneficial part in the situation and that things would really be okay in the end. How it would work, he didn’t know, but it would. _It had to_. He wouldn’t accept defeat when Thranduil was concerned.

Life was getting very complicated very fast. It was as if he’d been blindfolded with a partially transparent cloth this whole time and that mask had finally been taken away, allowing him to see things clearly all at once. What a scary world it was that he was seeing now.

On the ride home, all the young brunette’s thoughts could swirl around was Thranduil: Thranduil Oropherion, the star actor, the senior student, the Shakespeare extraordinaire, the goofy, the stubborn, and the most beautiful soul to occupy the world. This same Thranduil had tried to kill himself in the past. Thranduil almost didn’t exist. He would have never known him because he would have been dead. Bard maybe would have heard about it somehow and felt sorry for the victim and his family, but it wouldn’t have been anything more than that. They would have been strangers forever…but no, it wasn’t the same Thranduil that Bard knew that had skirted on the edge of the afterlife. In fact, it wasn’t Thranduil at all that had done it. It was his _disease_ that did it. What a horrible demon depression was, luring people toward the edge time and time again until they finally lost the fight or they conquered it. This fight would be conquered, for Thranduil had an army behind him.

The part of it all that made Bard the most worrisome was Thranduil’s drinking. He told Miluiel of all of the clues that brought him to his conclusion that Thranduil may indeed have a dependency on alcohol, and with what little detail she added, it was obvious that their suspicions led to a cold truth. Bard also told her he had hardly confronted Thranduil about it because of what happened the last time he brought it up. But the need to face Thranduil about it right then was a necessity, for if alcohol really was a problem for the blonde, it could make everything else that much worse and that was not acceptable, no. Thranduil would no longer be held in the grips of the villainous diseases that held him hostage. No way.

He was too antsy to return home just yet, and so instead of going to the house, he went straight to the archery shooing range. He had some of his gear sitting in the back of his truck from the last time he had visited, so he was plenty prepared for a training session. His clothes could have been more lax, but he didn’t care to let something like that bother him…or he didn’t until he actually started flinging arrows under the hot sun. He was growing annoyed with the hindrance his dress shirt caused; it was not made to be worn in athletic situations, so he simply stripped it off and paced around shooting topless with his hair tied up and his trousers still clinging to his hips. He probably looked a bit odd, but he didn’t care. He just needed to _focus_ on something other than Thranduil’s dark, open secrets.

He concentrated solely on his targets, soaking in every moment prior to releasing the arrow. He was leisurely, but calculated in his movements. Every gesture and action was purposeful, for it occupied his mind and blocked away all else for just a little while.

A little while became a long while as the air turned cool and the sky burned red and orange beneath the blue that still remained there. When Bard finally noticed this, he gave a sigh and knew he had to leave. The sweat coating the lines between his muscles became much more apparent as he snapped back into the real world and he was already thinking of showering when he returned home. He picked up his shirt and dabbed his body with it, knowing it would just have to be washed anyway, and then stalked about with the shirt slung over his shoulder to collect his arrows and shove them into the quiver on his back. The night seemed still, until he turned around and yelled out in surprise, jumping back and nearly collapsing from fright when Thranduil’s image appeared before him. Bard reached his hand out to wipe the apparition away, but his palm planted right into Thranduil’s heaving chest…he was really there, standing before him, his face colored red and his chest rising and falling in a dramatic rhythm. His eyes cut through him like diamonds and Bard was so stunned, he didn’t know what to say.

“Why?” he finally huffed out, grabbing his own chest and feeling fear rushing through him from being startled. “You scared the hell out of me! I didn’t think you were coming today. How did you know I was here?” He spoke, but Thranduil stayed silent, his fists balled tight. Bard’s eyes narrowed as he absorbed his boyfriend’s expression. Something was wrong. “Thran? What happened?” he asked carefully, stepping once forward to get that much closer, and the blonde stepped aggressively forward, forcing Bard back.

“ _You_ happened, that’s what happened!” he shouted and Bard blinked, utterly confused and taken aback at his sudden outburst.

“Whoa, hold on!” Bard spoke up. “What are you talking about? You can’t just storm in here and start yelling at me and not tell me why.”

“You _know_ why.” Thranduil said, his voice cold and sharp and his entire body tense as he raised a finger in Bard’s face. His eyes were quickly welling up with a line of tears. “You went _behind my back_ and met with my mother.”

“It’s not behind your back, Thran, she just wanted to meet me alone-”

“And talk about how crazy I am!” Thranduil cut off heatedly, his tears spilling onto his face. As he went on, the fine diction of his words lessened and his breaths shot in and out of him rapidly. “She _told you_ , I know she did! And you told her things! _How could you_ do that to me?! How could you tell her that I’m an _alcoholic?!_ Why would you do that?! WHY WOULD YOU TELL LIES ABOUT ME?!”

Thranduil was crumbling to pieces right in front of him. Bard grabbed the blondes trembling shoulders, but he was quickly shaken off. Thranduil’s glare read loud: _don’t touch me_.

“Thran, you have to calm down before I explain anything, okay? Let’s go do this somewhere else.” Bard said in his most soothing tone and Thranduil shook his head.

“No. You don’t get it. I _can’t_ calm down. I’m just a freak who has no control over anything and that’s how everyone treats me!”

“You’re not a freak, Thranduil! Please, just-”

“NO! _You_ don’t tell me what to do, no. You of all people…I thought you’d be different. I should have never trusted you.”

A deep crack pierced right into Bard’s heart and his jaw dropped. He kept himself together, remembering that this couldn’t possibly be his fault and that Thranduil’s judgment was clouded by his torrential emotions. He was just distraught and that could be understood, forgiven. Bard had to handle this as gently as possible.

“You don’t mean that.” Bard said softly and reached for Thranduil’s hand, but the blonde pulled away. “Thran, you know me. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m trying to _help_ you because I love you.”

“YOU’RE NOT HELPING, YOU’RE RUINING EVERYTHING!” Thranduil retorted and started off in the other direction, walking speedily with Bard trailing after him.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you!”

“You came all this way just to yell at me and leave? Come on, just let me-”

“Let you what? Backstab me some more?” Thranduil lashed with a glower as he stopped and spun around.

“No, I-”

“You did this yourself!”

“DID WHAT?” Bard yelled, starting to lose his patience. “All I did was make plans with your mother to make things right for you, that’s all, and you don’t even want any part of it! You’re taking it all wrong!”

“Oh yeah? Will sending me away to a rehab facility _make things right_ , Bard? Will telling my father I’m even crazier than he thought and _gay_ on top of that, _make things right?_ ”

“Well…maybe, yes.” Bard said and Thranduil wiped angrily at his tears.

“NO! It's stupid, _stupid_ , and no one gets that that would just make everything _worse!_ Fuck her, fuck you, and fuck _all of you_. I’m not doing it.”

“Don’t you want to try? Don’t you want to give yourself the chance to have a happier life?”

“I was just fine with my life the way it was!”

“I don’t believe that.” Bard said, shaking his head. “How could you have been content living two separate lives? Don’t you want to share every part of it with me, instead of just half of it?”

“I don’t think so. Not anymore.”

“Listen, I know why you’re upset and I know you don’t mean any of the hurtful things you’re saying. I also know that deep inside, you understand why I did what I did and you’re scared. I get that, I promise you. I’m not saying I feel exactly what you do, but I can see why you do. _It’s okay to be scared_. I’m a little scared too, but I know as long as we are together every step of the way, big or small, things will be alright.”

Thranduil lowered his head, grabbing onto his hair and letting out a broken breath that struck Bard’s core. He was the picture definition of shattered.

“ _I love you, but I can’t trust you now_.” He said, his voice wavering and empty. “I just can’t let myself. It’s not that I don’t want to, _I can’t_. I have no power over anything anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Bard said and slowly neared the blonde. “You do have power. You have _all_ the power. Love give me strength, and strength shall help afford.”

“SHUT UP, SHUT UP!” Thranduil screamed, beating his fists on his head and Bard could feel himself shaking with fear; fear for Thranduil, fear for their relationship, and fear for himself. He didn’t want to think Thranduil would hurt him in his rage, but the thought right now seemed very possible and it was terrifying. “Stop pitying me! Just _stop everything!_ ”

“But Thranduil…I love you.” Bard offered weakly.

“I’m a mess. _I’m not worth it!”_ Thranduil said with a bitter laugh, brushing his hair back from his face and looking up to the sky. “I knew I should have never agreed to all of this. I told you it wouldn’t work, that I wasn’t capable, but somehow, with your sweet words, you convinced me and now we’re both suffering when I should be the only one.”

“NO! No one should be suffering at all! And you’re saying that you should be the only one because you care about me, because you love me. Don’t you see that? You can’t just force me away! Thranduil, we agreed to get through everything _together!_ ”

“That was before you knew all this.”

“Thran, you’re breaking me.” Bard pleaded. “I can’t face the thought of losing you again. Don’t walk away from us right now. Your head isn’t clear.”

“It never is, Bard. It’s always waiting for me, taking me when I’m at my lowest. Doctors are shit and medicine is shit, because guess what? I’M STILL LIKE THIS AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

“Don’t say things like that.” Bard begged, but Thranduil was turning his back on him again and marching off.

Bard trekked after him, catching up to him and grabbing him by the shoulder, but then with one swift motion, Thranduil spun around and everything was black and fuzzy. Bard could feel warmth forming on his face and his balance failing him. He landed on the ground and laid there. For how long, he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t open his eyes for a long time and when he finally did, he was staring at the grass. He slowly lifted himself and lightly touched his face. He immediately retracted his hand from the massive pain harbored there and saw blood on his fingertips.

This wasn’t real.

He sat up more quickly and felt dizzy, but he forced himself to stand. Thranduil was nowhere to be seen. How long had he been down?

He ran to the parking lot, receiving a lot of strange looks, and saw Thranduil’s car was gone. He instantly took his phone from his pocket and called over and over again. There was no answer. He figured as much, but he was still hopeful that Thranduil would be calmer now, wherever he was. He jumped in his truck and zoomed home, thinking maybe Thranduil was there. He had no such luck.

An idea enlightened him and he took his phone out again, ringing Miluiel’s number and examining his wound in the rearview mirror. He pressed his shirt lightly under his nose to absorb some of the blood and grunted as there was no answer.

Dammit, dammit, _dammit_. This was insane! He could literally do nothing. He would track Thranduil down if he knew where he was going; perhaps he was going home, but Bard didn’t even know where he lived. His breathing turned fast and heavy as he felt a rush of distress sweep over him and he began to cry, banging his palm on the steering wheel in frustration. He wanted to, no, _needed_ to help Thranduil and badly, but after what just happened, Bard felt as hopeless as ever. Depression was not something one hug, a kiss, or some nice words could fix and he knew that, but he had thought they might help. Instead, Thranduil probably left in a worse mood than he’d been in when he arrived and Bard ended up with a bloodied nose. The injury was the least of his worries.

He sank in his seat, resting his head against the wheel as he wept. His love was missing and being manipulated by a whirlwind of emotions. He didn’t trust Bard and he’d _hurt him_ because he was so desperate to get away.

There was a sudden rapping on his window and he jerked up, seeing his mother standing there. Oh, was looking up a mistake. Her face instantly formed into something horrified and she swung open the door, holding her son’s head in her hands as he cried. He leaned his face onto her shoulder and held her tightly; though it was not the comfort he wanted, he could not let go of her. She asked no questions and simply rubbed his back and let him purge his tears openly.

The two had stayed silent as Runa managed to get Bard out of the truck and walked him inside. She steered him right into the living room to sit and then hurried to the kitchen to gather supplies to clean his face. Bard could hear her conversing with his father in the kitchen and his voice was rising as the talk went on. He came walking loudly down the hall and Bard flinched as he entered the room and stood there, steaming as he stared at him.

“Look at me, son.” He spoke as delicately as possible. Bard had no choice but to obey, showing off his bruised, bent, and bloodied nose. Brent looked ready to burst, veins popping out of his head and his jaw locking tight.

“Did _he_ do that to you?”

“It’s not as bad as-”

“Who did it, dammit!” he exclaimed and Runa shoved past him, sitting next to Bard on the couch and whispering calming words to him as she cared for his face.

“It’s not his fault, da.” Bard offered meekly and Brent scoffed loudly as he shuffled over to the mantle and yanked his rifle from it. Bard sprang up. “Da, what are you doing?!”

“I’m gonna kill the son of a bitch!”

“Brent, stop it!” Runa hissed.

“Look what he did to our son, Runa!”

“I said it’s not his fault!” Bard protested, feeling like he’d throw up just from yelling at his father. Never would he ever do such a thing.

“Whose fault is it then? Because it certainly isn’t yours.”

“He’s not himself right now, da. I know that’s not good enough for you, but he has a lot of problems, a lot of things going on. His mother wants to send him to a rehab facility, but he-”

“Rehab?” Brent questioned. “So he’s on drugs?”

“No, but he has depression and he has an attachment to alcohol.”

“So he likes to drink, huh? That’s his excuse for hurting you?”

“Da, this is _serious!_ These are crippling diseases he has and he could be in danger! Thranduil would never do something like that to me in his right mind, but I don’t know how to help him right now!” he shouted and Runa slowly guided him back down onto the couch.

“We’re concerned for Thranduil, but we’re concerned for you too, honey. It’s not all on you to help him through whatever he’s going through. You’ve gone through your share of worry for now; we’ll all join him on the path to recovery, right Brent?”

“Yeah, yeah…I’m just gonna go in the kitchen, make some tea.” Brent grumbled and wandered off, rifle still in hand.

“I don’t blame him for being mad.” Bard sighed and let his mother again start tending to the soreness infecting his face. “Ma, what do I do?”

“You sit and try to relax while I take care of you for a bit.”

“How can I relax when he’s out there, fuming?”

“I said _try_ , dear. I know it’s not easy…and I know he’s not a bad person. These kinds of afflictions make people do strange things sometimes. As long as he gets the help he needs and _deserves_ , I think things will improve for him.”

“I know he can get better. It’s just difficult to see him like this and to not really be able to do anything.”

“You _can_ do something, and that’s be there to support him. That will contribute to his recovery more than you think. You said his mother wants to admit him to rehab?”

“Yes, but I don’t know if he’ll g-go.” He stuttered, wincing at the pressure she applied directly on his nose. He could feel his cheeks and the skin under his eyes swelling. He’d surely have plenty of bruises soon. “Is it broken?”

“It might be. Can you breathe alright?”

“I feel a little clogged up.”

“There’s some other fluid here…I think it may be broken, hon. I don’t want to poke around it too much and somehow make it worse. I’ll wipe away the rest of this blood, we'll get you a shirt to put on, and then we should get you to the hospital.”

“It hurts…it hurts so much.” Bard spoke and as he said this, he felt the pain inside of him more than the one in the center of his face. Runa nodded in understanding, knowing just what her son meant. She pressed her lips against his forehead in a long, affectionate kiss before giving him a smile tainted with heartache and proceeding to wash away the blood.

Runa and Brent accompanied Bard to the hospital, driving him there and endlessly hovering at his side as the procedures and examinations went on. He was given a subtle anesthetic spray as the doctor prodded at his nose and looked inside. There was a further x-ray done and though he had no further injuries, it turned out his nose had been broken and was out of alignment. He squeezed both of his parents’ hands as the doctor manually put the bones in their proper placement and the discomfort was actually agonizing. Thankfully, it was brief. Thereafter, his nose was wrapped in packaging and the doctor went off to fill out a prescription of medicine that would prevent infection and ease any further pain he might experience.

Through everything, his phone had rang a few times. Now that he had a moment, he checked to see it was Mrs. Oropherion who had called – four times, in fact. He stood from the hospital bed and said to his parents that he was going to the bathroom across the hallway. Once pulled the sheet of his room closed behind him, he dialed Miluiel’s number back with his thumbs clicking fast. He was relieved when the ringing only lasted for two turns.

“Oh, Bard! I’m so glad you called back!” Miluiel exclaimed and Bard instantly detected her tone was far from normal – it was quivering, even.

“Mrs. Oropherion, is everything alright?” he questioned.

“No...

well, I don’t really know for sure, I don’t know what’s going on.

It’s _Thranduil._

_He got in accident._

_He’s in the hospital, Bard_.”

Emptiness filled the brunette’s body. He turned absolutely numb from head to toe. The voice on the other end was still rattling on as the phone slipped from his grip and bounced on the tile floor. The little strength he still had in his body after being physically and emotionally drained fled to somewhere unknown, leaving him as defenseless and limp as a ragdoll. He collapsed hard onto the floor and saw stars. He saw Thranduil.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a hard one to write, but I got through it, knowing that the story would come to this point all along. As hard as it was for me personally, I feel good in knowing that there are brighter paths ahead! Thank you for reading!! <3


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